At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Boobs speak an international language.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
