he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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