Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
