break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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