hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
