But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats