Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.