Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
