ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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