Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
