he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize