All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
