the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
