I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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