white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
