my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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