I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize