first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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