Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
