You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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