and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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