You were right. It hurts to walk today.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
