You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize