plz talk dirty to me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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