Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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