just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ate ashes out of my bong
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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