I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
