i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
