Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
