We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
