i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
