coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
