I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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