But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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