I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
