If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
