It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
