I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
