How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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