my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
