are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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