Yo dont text me then not text me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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