doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
