I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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