how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize