I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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