There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
