i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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