Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize