if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize