no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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