I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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