Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
