Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
