I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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