He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
this will be a night to untag.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
