Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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