And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize